Loving relationships can be very confusing, but there are almost definitive warning signs.
The tests of love do not have to consist of things that we demand of the other to demonstrate to what extent he believes in the relationship. In any case, they can be understood as something much more constructive: a way of knowing, in an approximate way, if the affective bond that unites two people is strong or if, on the contrary, what holds a couple together has nothing to do with it. see with that
Next we will see a proposal of list of tests of love so that, all fair, they can be used in the day to day. What it is about is to observe the relationship of couple and stop to consider if between two people there are emotions that make us think of a shared and exciting project.
- Related article: ” The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love exist?
An aid to know if it is true love
Love is always complicated , but we can do something simpler. Specifically, we have several options to know, in a rough way, when a relationship has a solid foundation and when it does not.
And there are many ways in which a relationship can be created in which the bond is weak or almost non-existent. Let’s think, for example, of the little assertive people who are afraid to say no not to displease the other. When a relationship begins, it is possible that despite the fact that love is not reciprocated, it is not possible to face the decision of not giving false hope.
Another example we have in the manipulative people who start dating someone for interest. In these cases, the relationship is based on someone who tries by all means that the other becomes practically addicted to the relationship, and for this uses falsehoods and deceptions that fuel the emotional blackmail .
Finally, something much simpler can also happen: that love ends but the routine and habits linked to the relationship continue to be perpetuated. In these cases you can get to confuse the feeling for the other with the fear of ending a whole lifestyle.
Love tests to assess the strength of couple relationships
To detect these undesirable situations as soon as possible, and in the absence of couples therapy, there is nothing like resorting to some tests of love.
1. Does not mind showing infatuation to others
There are many people who are very reluctant to show their feelings of tenderness to friends or other family members, but that does not mean that it can not change in some situation. And … if being with the couple is not enough excuse to show the most affective side before others, what is?
At first it is hard to get carried away and offer clear signs of affection to the other person if there are more people watching, but after all, the pleasure of sharing those moments should compensate for that discomfort that others see us with different eyes. Expressing feelings is not a crime.
2. Shows a fair attitude
Many people believe that love tests consist of doing all kinds of mimes on their own initiative, from taking breakfast to bed to letting the other person always choose the restaurant to dine at. However, this does not have to be so, and in fact it is perfectly consistent with the behavior of a manipulative person or a couple who feels guilty and “exchanges” those small sacrifices for times when they fall into infidelity.
On the other hand, one of the best tests of love is to combine those mimes with moments in which he communicates assertively what his own interests are. After all, a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife is not a child, and treating the other as if he were a minor means denying his status as an adult and responsible person. In those cases, an illusion is being lived.
3. Invest effort in listening
One of the situations in which it is most noticeable if the relationship is based on love and empathy is in conversations. It is at these times when the only thing we should attend to is the other’s point of view. Not his physical contact or his livelihoods, but his words and speech. To speak face to face means to open a little window to the mental world of the other , it means active listening .
So, conversations and situations of face-to-face dialogue are one of the best tests of love: if there is an interest in the mental characteristics of our partner, it shows in our attitude, our nonverbal language, and the presence or lack of impatience for him to finish speaking. Looking at this regularly is very useful, although we must bear in mind that fatigue can also create distractions not caused by lack of love.
4. Open conversations regularly
What do we do when we love someone passionately? At a minimum, think about that person very often. And, in these times, a good way to intuit how often that happens is the number of conversations by phone and social networks that our partner initiates.
Excesses are always bad, of course, and being constantly sending messages indicates that something is wrong (possibly jealousy or distrust), but the relative absence of attempts to contact during the time that is not in the same place is reason to ask if everything is fine. Which brings us to the next point.
5. Ask how you feel
A relationship is not simply a plot of life in which to invest time and resources. It is also a place to which we are going to pay attention to the other, to see to what extent we can be of help. That’s why something as simple as asking “how do you feel?” It is such a powerful tool and, on the other hand, a sign of love.
6. It’s easy to apologize
Even in the most perfect pairs errors abound. That is why, when they appear on the part of the other person, it is good to notice if he apologizes, and the way he does it. Ultimately, if pride outweighs the desire for the other to feel better , something fails in that relationship.